I was shooting a scene in my new film, No Strings Attached, in which I say to Natalie Portman,
“If you miss me. you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my Facebook wall. If you really miss me, you come and see me.”
I began to think of all of the billions of intimate exchanges sent daily via fingers and screens, bouncing between satellites and servers. With all this texting, emailing, and social networking, I started wondering, are we all becoming so in touch with one another that we are in danger of losing touch?
It used to be that boy met girl and they exchanged phone numbers. Anticipation built. They imagined the entire relationship before a call ever happened. The phone rang. Hearts pounded. “Hello?” Followed by a conversation that lasted two hours but felt like two minutes and would be examined with friends for two weeks. If all went well, a date was arranged. That was then.
Now we exchange numbers but text instead of calling because it mitigates the risks of early failure and eliminates those deafening moments of silence. Now anticipation builds. Bdoop. “It was NICE meeting u” Both sides overanalyze every word. We talk to a friend, an impromptu Cyrano: “He wrote nice in all caps. What does that mean? What do I write back?” Then we write a response and delete it 10 times before sending a message that will appear 2 care, but not 2 much. If all goes well, a date will be arranged.
Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male. Or maybe we are hiding behind the cloak of digital text and spell-check to present superior versions of ourselves while using these less intimate forms of communication to accelerate the courting process. So what’s it really good for?
There is some argument about who actually invented text messaging, but I think it’s safe to say it was a man. Multiple studies have shown that the average man uses about half as many words per day as women, thus text messaging. It eliminates hellos and goodbyes and cuts right to the chase. Now, if that’s not male behavior, I don’t know what is. It’s also great for passing notes. there is something fun about sharing secrets with your date while in the company of others. think of texting as a modern whisper in your lover’s car.
Sending sweet nothings on Twitter or Facebook is also fun. in some ways, it’s no different than sending flowers to the office: You are declaring your love for everyone to see. Who doesn’t like to be publicly adored. Just remember that what you post is out there and there’s some stuff you can’t un-see.
But the reality is that we communicate with every part of our being, and there are times when we must use it all. When someone needs us, he or she needs all of us. There’s no text that can replace a loving touch when someone we love is hurting.
We haven’t lost romance in the digital age, but we may be neglecting it. In doing so, antiquated art forms are taking on new importance. The power of a hand-written letter is greater than ever. It’s personal and deliberate means more than an email or text ever will. It has a unique scent. It requires deciphering. But, most important, it’s flawed There are errors in handwriting, punctuation, grammar, and spelling that show our vulnerability. And vulnerability is the essence of romance. It’s the art of being uncalculated, the willingness to look foolish, the courage to say, “This is me, and I’m interested in you enough to show you my flaws with the hope that you may embrace me for all that I am but, more importantly, all that I am not.”
Maintain. If you did a bunch of cute things with her before, try & keep it up. You don’t have to go all out everyday for her, but don’t stop completely just because you got her already.
“Ladies first.” No. That rule doesn’t apply to communication. Don’t wait for her call, text, IM, why don’t you try talking to her first for a change ? It’s thoughtful & sweet if a guy can actually do that.
Surprise her. You don’t have to drive an hour to her house at 3 a.m. to set off her name in fireworks in front of her window, but the little things are big things. A simple, good morning text, is more powerful than you think.
What insecurities ? For the love of God, all girls have insecurities. Please don’t point them out. For example, today I was looking at food & my boyfriend said “You eat a lot. You probably could beat me at a buffet.” WHAT. THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAY. Also, let her be herself. If she’s having a bad hair day, don’t make fun of her if it’s hurtful. Let her wear sweatpants & still feel pretty damn cute around you, even when she’s not looking her best.
Act the same around your friends. You’re not a real man if you completely blow off your girl in front of your homeboys. When you’re going to hang out with her & your friends you better not run off & leave her standing there to greet them like WUDDUPPP GUYSSS.. NO, you better at least walk with her & introduce her to them if you haven’t already. If you walk with her hand in hand, she’ll love it.
When she’s mad. Dude, you better try & get her back. Chase her, whatever it is, don’t let her walk away when she’s mad at you. It shows you don’t care enough to go after her. Don’t let her go.
One & Only.If your girl really doesn’t like one of your friends, trust, she has good reason to. Girls’ intuition -shrug- So don’t go hanging with your homegirl all the timeif you know your girlfriend doesn’t like that bitch. She usually won’t hate for no reason. Respect her.
Trust.Honesty. If you lie to her, you’re going to have one hell of a time regaining that trust because she’ll start questioning everything you’ve said or done for her, no matter how small that lie was. Fess up or get lost.
In Flo-Rida's song "Low" he states that Shawty is wearing the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur AND the Reeboks with the straps, what is she some kind of four legged morph woman? In all honesty I'm not surprised the whole club is looking at her.
Teacher Diaries > MTIA!! (Missing Teacher in Action)
Today was a lively bunch! My co-teacher AND the sub decided that they wanted to jump ship today and leave me with 23 students. I usually have them broken up into groups, because trying to cater to 23 mentally disable people at once is VERY HARD! ANYWHO………….
In my last entry I said my student was getting married! Guess what the colors are going to be………..
Pink and White
I spent at least 20 minutes trying to explain why those color choices may NOT be the best move. Ever since I can remember people I barley knew will confide in me and tell me their secrets and issues. I guess this will now also include my students now, because my student that is getting married hasn’t told anyone but me. Not even his friends or parents.
I kinda feel special:)
ALSO, I am learning sign language from my deaf student and his translator. I have learned all the basic cuss words to communicate effectively;) So hopefully by the end of the semester I will have learned how to communicate silently!!
Fighting evil by moonlight Winning love by daylight Never running from a real fight She is the one named Sailor Moon She will…never turn her back on a friend She is… always there to defend She is…the one on whom we can depend She is the one named Sailor….. …. Sailor Venus …. Sailor Mercury …. Sailor Mars ….. Sailor Jupiter